Lament of Contentment

Current song playing in my head : - Mitwa from KANK

Shankar Mahadevan's voice rings in my head - Mere mann yeh bata de tu... Kis ore chala hai tu... Kya paya nahin tune.. Kya dhoond raha hai tu

What words! What is it that the heart seeks? What is it that it hasnt found as yet.. Contentment they say, is a state of mind.. Then why is the state of my mind so unsatisfied? So thirsty and hungry for more?

I am in a highly coveted job which many people will give their life for.. I work for one of the highly respected companies in the world.. And my job is supposed to be full of challenging opportunities, avenues to go abroad, highly flexible and motivating and what-have-you.. I work for a fat pay package that enables me to feed my wants and indulgences more than required..

I have friends with whom I go out partying, dinners, movies, etc.. I am not someone who is lonely or left out.. A friend of mine recetly commented - "you're someone who develops a personal equation with everyone you meet".. which basically means that there is nothing lacking in my social life..

Then why do I feel so wanting.. So deprived.. Am I an anomaly? or am I just plainly human.. Wanting more.. Perpetually dissatisfied.. Accursed with high ambitions and unsatiable aspirations.. Is this what my Lament is? -

I am cursed with wanting too much too soon
Trying too hard too often, striving for things that taunt me, just beyond my fingertips
Accomplishing too little, despite my lauded efforts
Hurting people, not helping them

We are the cursed, fringe elements in denial
Defying their condescension, shattering their delusions
Breaking every barrier they cherish, like pacifiers
Yet still, twisted hilariously, dysfunctional specimen

And so we learn the hard way to work with the system
To keep tactfully silent, to flatter, to lie and to compliment
To assimilate and not protest, to be humble, modest and smiling
To please them, though we may never forget,
That we’re square pegs in very round holes